Ex-Gay writer on films that valourise female virginity


Where the Boys Are: A Reevaluation


As I have written before, the main (negative) achievement of the feminist revolution was to make men feel they could no longer have a reasonable expectation of marrying a virgin.

As I have also written before, one of the very few films to consider a woman’s virginity as significant, in recent years, was Metropolitan (1980), with the beloved character of Audrey Rouget. I have written about that movie extensively at this blog.


8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by fuzziewuzziebear on November 14, 2017 at 6:59 pm

    The last movie that I saw that even brought up the subject was Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc with Milla Jovovitch.


  2. Posted by Anonymous Reader on November 15, 2017 at 3:05 am

    This review is a bit dated in outlook. Perhaps due to the author’s personal history and experience?

    The author writes:
    I have found this in popular culture: where women are the sole purchasers of “romance novels” and the relative absence of pornography marketed to women.

    Clearly he has not read a “romance novel” in the last 10 to 15 years. Leaving aside the real fact that rom-fic is itself a form of porn to women, modern rom-fic has an obligatory and graphic sexual scene every N pages, typically spaced evenly. Anyone who doubts me can test this at the nearest chain bookstore.

    The author is making a common error by defining “porn” solely in terms of the visual, showing ignorance of the differences between men and women: women are more verbal, men are more visual. Therefore women’s porn tends to be in text form. It’s still porn.

    Ryder further widens the gap between them by claiming that sex is no longer a matter of “morals.” It’s like “shaking hands” he says. This attitude towards sex is rare in women, henceforth the <b.near impossibility of women taking part in anonymous sex…

    Checking my calendar it is not 1960, or 1969, or even 1992.

    The PUA’s in the US, the “dogging” subculture in the UK and elsewhere provide evidence that the author might not care for. Not to mention Palm Springs during the Dinah Shore golf tournament – yes, those are mostly lesbians, true, but promiscuity reigns.

    I am not here to deny the importance of virginity and the author provides some useful insights into long-term issues. But in the process he writes falsehoods. Falsehoods that could lead a young man into believing things about women that simply are not true.

    Pretty lies don’t help men or women. They hurt both sexes, in different ways.


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on November 15, 2017 at 4:00 am

      Yes. I take your point. He is a “recovering gay” and perhaps he doesn’t really understand women. And I agree that romance novels now range from mild (some that are published are literally categorised as “chaste”) all the way through to 50 Shades type material. (It is noteworthy that perhaps the most extreme novel of female masochism in recent literature, the Story of O, was written by a woman.)

      Personally, I think that women will behave as badly or as well as the contemporary patriarchy allows them. When the patriarchy is permissive, women will behave like whores. Some few women will have internalised moral control – although even they will likely have internalised a masculine-derived moral system like Islam or Christianity.


  3. Posted by Glengarry on November 18, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    Well, we’re of course not supposed to care about virginity, but I for one do.

    At a recent reunion of sorts, I nearly told a girl I met at university, a dark-haired beauty who turned up one semester, that if she’d been a virgin and we’d gotten married that semester, I would have made a football team with her. (Obviously she preferred other pursuits as well as other pursuers at the time.) But since she was childless and had hit the proverbial wall rather badly, I held my tongue.


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on November 18, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      It was a deal-breaker for me too. I would only have married a virgin. I cannot imagine why so many men don’t care. The usual line is that they don’t exist any more. But they do.


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