Husbandry or taming of the wife

One area that modernity often gets completely wrong is the question of who civilises whom. Husband or wife? The lazy answer is that wives tame husbands. But at a deeper level, husbands also tame wives.

A couple of my recent posts seem to touch on this theme. Some time ago a lady contributor wrote this:

How a wife should be disciplined: a guest post

 

She quoted The Little Prince in describing how a good husband tames his wife. I came across this quote today, which is also relevant. (This is quite scriptural too. See Ephesians on the husband “cleansing” his wife with the word.)

“It’s the time I spent on my rose…,” the little prince said. “But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose…” “I’m responsible for my rose… ” the little prince repeated, in order to remember.”

A man is responsible for his wife. She reflects on him. Indeed, she is his reflection, as Eve was made for Adam’s glory. This is how a husband often feels. As I said to somebody recently. “No. That’s Mrs O’Dea. She belongs to me.”

Woman is the Glory of Man

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7 responses to this post.

  1. So true. Men need to claim their rightful authority over their women and children. But I would find it difficult to respect a man whose hair is in a bun.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Eduardo the Magnificent on July 9, 2017 at 3:25 am

    If men and women are truly complementary, they bring out the best in each other. The FI focuses on “civilizing” men, without mentioning the other side of that coin. But of course when you’re a perfect snowflake angel, you don’t need any improvement. *eyeroll*

    Reply

  3. Posted by Roman Lance on July 9, 2017 at 10:02 am

    I once read in a blog, and I have taught this to my children, that a woman is grafted to her husband in marriage. So that like a grafting where the one tree takes a new branch. The woman becomes like the man.

    #3 daughter had taken to this and desires to be grafted to a man, to love and serve him.

    A woman should become like her husband. His thoughts should become hers, his desires should become hers.

    It took me a very long time to learn this. I wish I had learned it sooner, much sooner.

    Reply

    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on July 9, 2017 at 10:08 am

      I was actually thinking about this today. Women may well have evolved to be easily adaptable to a man. My mother once said that she learned to be flexible and adaptable in life from having boyfriends with differing interests when she was young. And a woman blogger, who went by various names, the last of which was Vanessa, wrote a fair bit about how she had become a rather different woman when she changed boyfriends.

      She likened it to women being empty vessels for men to fill.

      I wouldn’t say that my wife shares all my beliefs. But I do think that I have influenced her a lot. I find that she often repeats things I have said, word for word, sometimes shortly after I say them. Clearly she is listening.

      Perhaps the unhappiness of “unowned” women is due in part to their literally not knowing what to think. Or how to act. Women who go “feral” seem to behave in a very primitive, mindless way, as “slut walks” show.

      Reply

      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on July 9, 2017 at 10:11 am

        I wrote about this here:

        https://davidcollard.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/whom-she-will-become/

        As I noted recently, there is hard evidence that women used to be “traded around” a lot more than men. It is easy to imagine that the capacity to “tend and befriend” in a new social environment, maybe even a new tribe, would be of use to women. One could go further and imagine that being able to quickly learn to accept a new man’s sexual advances, food preferences, and other cultural features could often have been a matter of life and death for a woman.

        There is a faint trace of this old arrangement in the way that women still mostly adopt their husband’s surname. It is a token of adaptability and a willingness to belong to his “tribe”.

        I was even speculating yesterday that a women’s ability to be raped could have been adaptive. Especially if it was “be raped or be killed”. Here is a relevant article:

        http://bust.com/general/9956-arousal-during-rape-the-science-behind-why-it-doesnt-equal-consent.html

        Once the author gets past the usual tut-tutting, she writes this:

        ” “Substantial ethnographic, historical, and comparative evidence suggests that the threat of unwanted sexual activity has been considerable over human evolutionary history,” report two scientists, Suschinsky and Lalumiere. Their conclusions show that the pattern of women becoming aroused during assault may be an “evolutionary vestige that served to protect women from the genital injury that can come from [un]wanted sex.” Therefore, lubrication during rape is simply a physical reflexive response, something that cannot be controlled and has absolutely nothing to do with consent. In fact, it is unassociated with pleasure, but instead with protection. “

        I have corrected that to read “unwanted” sex because that is apparently what Suschinsky and LaLumiere meant. Here is more:

        https://digest.bps.org.uk/2011/01/11/a-biological-mechanism-that-protects-against-rape/

        Adaptations do not arise without selection pressure. Rape or at least forcible sex may indeed have been sufficiently common to lead to women having ways of coping with it physically, including by vaginal lubrication. Ethnographic evidence refers to raids among various tribes to obtain women. Being more or less abducted was probably a common experience for women in prehistory. Mental as well as physical coping mechanisms could have evolved.

      • Posted by Roman Lance on July 10, 2017 at 2:55 am

        Julian said:

        “I find that she often repeats things I have said, word for word, sometimes shortly after I say them.”

        I’ve noticed the same thing from my wife. For some reason she thinks I’m a kind of genius, not that I mind. I’ve just never though of myself a exceptionally intelligent.

        Oh well, she makes a good living and I can stay at home and raise all our kids in the Catholic faith. A job her mother, like mine, was unable to do.

      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on July 10, 2017 at 3:22 am

        It’s a good example of the Manosphere principle: “watch what she actually DOES if you want to know her true feelings.” That is, if she is repeating what you say, she must have respect for you.

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