Sometimes …

Sometimes my young

son lies beside me on

this old bed and we say

nothing but stare upward

like sailors wrecked on

a tiny island and tired

of sighing at the wind.

 

(Julian O’Dea)

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Roman Lance on May 6, 2017 at 4:41 am

    I having some trouble with the proper cadence for this poem. Any suggestions on the needed inflection to read this poem?

    Reply

    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on May 6, 2017 at 5:14 am

      Good question. There are some near-rhymes but no punctuation. I don’t think short poems should be punctuated.

      I suppose if I were reading it, I would do it as a single sentence and in a single breath.

      Reply

      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on May 6, 2017 at 5:16 am

        I started by writing haiku and tanka. Perhaps this could be read as a longer tanka. Sorry if I am sounding pretentious.

    • Posted by Roman Lance on May 6, 2017 at 8:36 am

      “Sorry if I am sounding pretentious.”

      Not at all, you give me something to go on. It is very much appreciated. 🙂

      Reply

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