What happens when you write a masculine poem

Two posts down is a poem I wrote a few years ago inspired (to some extent) by my marital love life. But it’s a poem. Not a non-fiction account.

I recently shared it on a Facebook poetry group on which I have shared a number of poems. I often test poems on these sites and then may go on to get them published.

This one was more controversial than most. I can see why. But I thought it was a worthwhile poem.

I got one older woman complaining that I surely wasn’t serious and it must be intended as satire. If not, it showed “worrying attitudes” or some such phrase.

When I defended the poem, a woman who had been wavering decided she liked it. Another woman also said she liked it, as did a man who said he valued the discussion.

My observation has been generally that one should never start apologising to feminists. One should stand one’s ground instead.

A poem of masculine passion should not be unacceptable. If I had written a different poem on sex from a gay or feminist perspective, there would have been no objection.

A poem describing normal, heterosexual activity in a poetic mode should be acceptable.

Ironically, the woman who complained had recently written a poem calling for more authentic voices.

Far too many poems are genteel and dull and political correctness has made the problem worse.


16 responses to this post.

  1. “Ironically, the woman who complained had recently written a poem calling for more authentic voices.”

    Just as long as those voices weren’t heterosexual male ones, of course.
    The time for a counter-revolution on Leftism is long overdue.


  2. Here’s a new poetic crusade, Julian – extolling the joys of MARRIED sex! Who would have thought it would be regarded as neo-porn? A: identity politicians.


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 16, 2017 at 11:45 pm

      Oh, this lady (a feminist I think like many woman poets) took considerable offence. I wasn’t very upset. I could see why. But I still find it deeply ironic that everything is acceptable except assertive masculinity.

      I don’t write many erotic poems but I try to situate them within marriage.


  3. Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 17, 2017 at 2:14 am

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It’s that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that’s what the poet does.
    — Allen Ginsberg


  4. Just laughable. The poem is so benign as to be ridiculous anyone could take offense.

    Such a response only demonstrates how few women have ever asked: why should I be lovable???

    I think another blog post speaks to this:
    Is It Time That Liberal, White Women Got Spanked?

    The envious and manipulative nature of women really gets out of hand when you don;t challenge them and hold them to account. I just spent the weekend with family where some of the women were engaged in so much passive aggressive resentment and projection as to be unfathomably ugly. No one seemed to notice.

    It astounds. Don’t let it go or it destroys. It’s Eve’s original sin.


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 17, 2017 at 2:54 am

      It’s about consensual acts of marital sex. It expressed my frustration that I never felt I had fully and finally “known” my wife in the biblical, physical sense.

      Women don’t seem to like being reminded of the simple mechanics of sex these days.

      The use of the word “nail” bothered a couple of them. The short poem is really a metaphor of course, comparing a woman to a picture that can be hung on a nail. One woman who was ambivalent about the poem said that it sounded like I had “crucified” my wife. I can see and even welcome that as a possible reading, but it was not what I mainly had in mind.


      • Men need possession of their wives to truly love them. This is male nature. It is why men will love and want to protect a woman and their family.

        The women’s submission and acceptance of this is essential. It is her voluntary choice. It is what most men need to make such commitment.

        A honest statement of the reciprocity of such a relationship for men. Let the horrors begin.

  5. Posted by fuzziewuzziebear on April 17, 2017 at 4:03 am

    A feminist will see male sexuality as obscene. It’s hard to understand as it is honest, forthright, simple and direct.


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 17, 2017 at 4:13 am

      Sorry to be cynical, but she will see male sexuality as obscene, until she flicks the bean as she leafs through her copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.


      • Posted by fuzziewuzziebear on April 17, 2017 at 5:11 am

        I chose those adjectives, not so much because you may repeat them in Church, but to differentiate. I am tired of all this obfuscation that your feminist detractor is so fond of.

      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 17, 2017 at 6:09 am

        Oh, it was passive-aggressive. The woman said something along the lines that “the attitudes expressed in this poem worry me quite a bit”.

        But I have developed a fairly thick skin.

      • Posted by fuzziewuzziebear on April 17, 2017 at 7:56 am

        I just remembered a time when we could dismiss her attitude as being that of a prude. Now, feminism has given these women legitimacy.

      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on April 17, 2017 at 8:08 am

        In many ways feminism is a movement that replaces or works hand-in-hand with puritan attitudes. Since the decline of the concept of traditional manners, feminism has moved in to reinstitute a kind of code of what is acceptable. Speech codes and political correctness have replaced traditional polite manners.

        Of course, feminism has often joined with puritan attitudes inside the churches. So one gets the kind of Christo-feminism seen in American Evangelical circles and indeed even within Catholic circles. There are plenty of Catholic women who will react like feminists to anything too “earthy”. Often feminists and Christo-feminists work together. This was seen quite some time ago with the temperance movements.

      • Posted by fuzziewuzziebear on April 17, 2017 at 9:45 am

        Feminism and Christianity don’t mix very well. I am certain that St. Paul could find a few reasons why. As for feminists defining what is polite, could we welcome back Emily Post?

  6. The imagery and the metaphor is very confronting. As you say, one can see why she implied (and presumably took) personal offence. Sex should be honestly and simply written about; personally I wouldn’t have chosen such metaphors. But it depends what effect you are going for.


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