I recently interviewed an Australian woman “michelle” via email about her lifestyle and her wearing a slave collar (or “Turian collar“) of the kind depicted here:
As a submissive she capitalises letters at the beginning of words referring to men but not those referring to females, including her own name, michelle.
Q. What is it that you wear around your neck? Can you describe it? Do you have a picture of it on a girl? (not you necessarily)
A. i wear a collar as a sign of the commitment between my Boyfriend and myself. The collar i wear is made of metal tubing and completely encircles my neck with a tiny screw to lock it at the back and has a slight curve in the design so it sits better over the shoulders.
Q. Why do you wear it? How does it fit into your lifestyle?
A. A collar is a symbol of commitment and ownership. It means i belong to someone, am Their property. For many, it is far more important than a wedding ring, but fills a similar purpose. Within the bdsm lifestyle, if someone sees a collar around your neck, they know you are not available to engage with freely. They must seek the permission of your Dominant/Owner. In some cases, they cannot even approach you or speak with you without first gaining the consent of the Owner.
Q. How do you feel when you have it on?
A. It is an immense sense of pride for a submissive to be given a collar by someone she highly respects and has great affection for. It is a privilege to be offered a collar, as they are not handed out easily. Wearing a collar is not a right, a submissive must earn her collar through her behaviour and character. Wearing it reminds you this special person in your life values you and is there to support and care for you. It also means, anything you do now is a reflection back on them, not just on you.
Q. Who controls its use?
A. The Dominant always controls the use. They decide when it goes on and when it comes off. They may tell you to put it on or take it off, but it is always at Their discretion.
Q. Are there any practical issues involved in wearing it constantly?
A. Only work considerations. i used to work in childcare so my first collar was a simple chain necklace. Some people have necklaces, bracelets or rings for this reason. i no longer work, so i can have a more traditional looking collar. At first they can feel cumbersome, but it doesn’t take too long to forget they are there and mine is made to be able to wear it in the shower or when swimming, so it never has to come off except for emergencies (which has never happened).
Q. Have people ever noticed it and commented?
A. People have noticed, but they think it’s just an interesting modern necklace. No one who is outside of the lifestyle has commented.
Q. Do you mention it to health care professionals?
A. There is no need to mention it to health professionals. If it was going to be in the way, my Boyfriend would remove it before i went to the appointment or prior to treatment as He always goes with me.
[I feel there must be some more questions one could ask michelle. If anybody has any, just leave a note in the comments, and I shall pass them on.]