“white knighting” by male poets

I have placed the haiku below in a couple of places, including on this blog, and a number of people, men and women, have liked it. The only complaints I have had have been from men. I see this all the time. Men complain about things on behalf of women, who mostly don’t mind.

Classic “white knighting”.


making her

put lipstick on …

to kiss it off


(haiku, Julian O’Dea)


9 responses to this post.

  1. Nothing like a flavoursome lipstick, heh πŸ™‚


  2. Do the men object to the word ‘making’, ie, the implication of sexual coercement, or are they just squicked out at the thought of eating lipstick?

    The most vocal feminist men seem frequently to have a hypocritical streak. Just today one I know of posted a feminist consciousness raising cartoon on Facebook – though I know of a former partner of his who has had a very different experience in a relationship with him. A case of “the man protesteth too much”?


    • Posted by Julian O'Dea on December 28, 2015 at 1:12 am

      They object to the word “making”.

      It is a word that comes naturally to me, for some reason. To me, it does not imply real coercion, any more than normal sex implies coercion.

      I wasn’t trying to suggest actually eating lipstick. Smearing it off with passionate kisses I suppose.

      What irritated me, and this relates to your point, was that one of the objecters had strongly implied (poetically) that he had just committed adultery and gone on an alcohol bender.

      Some men really do think that what you say and your expressed views are more important than what you actually do.


      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on December 28, 2015 at 1:14 am

        And, as I pointed out, women have bought 50 Shades of Grey in huge numbers. And what is that about but sexual coercion?

    • People these days instinctively see all poetry as a straightforward statement of personal opinion, rather than as it should be seen, as a dramatic statement of a character. Of course because a lot of poets see things the same way, these days many poems *are* a straightforward statement of personal opinion, but that just means their range is limited to a particular type of poem, the post-Wordsworthian sort where the poet makes themselves out to be the main character in their own personal romance. (And their range isn’t necessarily that limited otherwise – I have no problems with these poets, it would make things difficult if I had since a lot of them are personal friends).


      • Posted by Julian O'Dea on December 28, 2015 at 3:41 am

        Well, yes. One can “adopt a persona” – if you will excuse me adopting the persona of an English teacher!

        I have written poems in the persona of a domineering husband, and in the persona of a woman, and so on. Presumably one just uses a particular part of your normal personality, or even one’s pure imagination.

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